no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize