yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize