lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
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That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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