I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
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