Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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