She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize