I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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