But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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