Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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