i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
