So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
My breasts were aching with rage.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
