i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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