So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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