if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
