Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
You need Xanax blowdarts
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
