She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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