Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
