my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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