he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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