Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I have aggressive nipples.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
