Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
