Redeem this text for a blowjob
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
