We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
i now understand why vodka
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
