JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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