She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
