You can't motorboat a personality
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Randomize
