Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
