we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
i just made my gag reflex go away.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Randomize
