im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
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