yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
