we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
