I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
