I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
bring money and cleavage
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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