oh god the rape fog is back!
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
