dude i'm inner monologue high
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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