please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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