no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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