Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
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