The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
