Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
farters have to be the big spoon...
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize