We're facebook friends in real life
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
where does the pee come out of this thing
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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