she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
