I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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