So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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