She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
she pinky promised me she was 18
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
