Three words: puerto rican gang bang
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
