I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
