My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
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