she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
