dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Randomize
