At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
