So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize
