And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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