Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize