i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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