You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
