We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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