his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
