like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
