How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize